Contact Dave Matus at
Fabulous Antique Scrimshaw - for sale
- updated 6/21/13
Road Rage Cure
My super creative app developer -
Ever been stung by a dead bee? Don't ever hit your
mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind.
Toga!!! My father was slaughtered by a
six-fingered man... He who knows his enemy
and knows himself shall not fear the result of 100 battles.
Fear is no object. I am not who I am
I've spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Ah...to tire-swing! To the pain.
Sport Death Only Life Can Kill You
I would not say such things if I were you!
He's only mostly dead. Anybody want a
peanut? You use different moves when
fighting half-a-dozen people than when you only have to be worrying about one.
I'm not afraid anymore! My Honor is my Life
I don't quite like you. It's my island.
What problem? I'm a physicist!! I've never
played poker with a toothless, one-eyed pirate...
TEQUILA!!! Gin makes me . . .
Tuna are very fast. The universe is my
playground. Accept nothing.
Question everything. Do not surrender.
Today IS a good day to die! I'm ENORMOUS!!
I'm HUGE!! My freakin' head hurts.
Forever the Fight. Ahhh, Paris in the
Vitamin S What are we waiting for?!?!
I have no method. Oooo...Nice quantum
harmonic oscilator... Black hole this...
Yeah, well my universe rotates! I will open
the black box. There is no spoon.
Ippon! I'll help you catch him, Clarice.
You sometimes wear L'Air de Temps, but not today.
Physics is phun. Joey, do you like movies
about Gladiators? Thank your sir, may I have
p=mv-eA Don't piss down my back and tell me
it's raining. May I obey all your commands
with equal pleasure sire. 'Till be thems
that dies that be the lucky ones. Klaatu
Barata Nikto Don't you know? NEVER read form
the Book of the Dead. Final Round...Fight!
I shoulda remembered about the rocks.
What's the word...burn? See the cat? See the
cradle? No damn cat! No damn cradle!
M_Plank=.02 milligram You can't fight in
here, this is the War Room! Gee, I wish we
had one of them doomsday machines. You're
gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
Put your right hand in the box. They tried
and failed? They tried and died.
Tell me of your homeworld, Usil. You broke
THAT jaw?!? The sleeper must awaken.
Chuck Campbell is a god. Like a midget at a
urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
Excuse me while I whip this out. I hate
Illinois Nazis. Betting is illegal at
Bushwood, sir, and I never slice! You're
rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a waterbuffalo.
Generally, you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.
Yes, but my father was a piano MOVER. I'm a
mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
Are there any Paraguayans here? No? Well, of course, their request for subsidies
was not uh Paraguayan as it is, as it were, uh the United States government
would never have if the President, our President had not and as far as I know
that's the way it will always be. Is that clear?
You can't go .. all the plants are gonna' die!
I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and now wouldn't you know
it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my
head wasn't big enough. Nine killed her;
nine shall die! Eight have died, soon to be nine. Nine eternities in doom!
If he had held the ball laces out like he's supposed to, Ray would never have
missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell!
Your request is not unlike your lower intestine. Stinky and full of danger.
Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
Should we shag now or should we shag later?
Mr. Madison. What you've just said....is one of the most insanely idiotic things
I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there
anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room
is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have
mercy on your soul.